Back in 2010, the United States Supreme Court ruled that corporations were entitled to spend unlimited amounts of money to influence the outcome of elections. The court actually ruled that corporations had the same rights as people— how ridiculous is that?
It’s so absurd that the 2012 election cycle wouldn’t be complete without a mock candidacy by the nation’s largest corporation: Walmart! Of course, we already know that Walmart has spent millions of dollars supporting various candidates for elected office. That’s why it makes perfect sense for Walmart to take things to the next level and become a full-fledged candidate for President of the United States.
Check out the announcement below to find out how you can get involved in the campaign.
In the immortal words of Mitt Romney - “Corporations are people, my friend.”
Unlimited corporate spending on elections is the driving force in our democracy. Yet, there is a growing movement in this country to deny corporations the rights afforded to them by the Supreme Court of the United States. Los Angeles passed a resolution declaring that corporations are not people and money isn’t speech. South Carolina Democrats want to put a resolution on the ballot asking the public to vote on corporate personhood. There are even people who would blame the lingering recession and growing inequality in our society on major corporations.
That is why, today, I am officially announcing my candidacy for President of the United States. It’s time to take a stand and fight for those who have come under so much attack in recent months, the 1%. They need a strong voice in this race, and as America’s largest private employer and the world’s largest retailer, with over $480 billion in revenue in 2010, I am that voice. Some might scoff at such a notion, since no major corporation has ever even been elected to Congress. But this is America-where corporations are considered people and any retail conglomerate can grow up to be President.
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